I need a protective force field.
I take on others stuff - troubles, angst, problems, emotions, etc. I actually feel what they feel...and, who knows where I learned this (well, I know but let's not go into it), I like to try and fix it. And, when it doesn't get fixed, it causes me more angst etc. Sometimes a little more than it is causes the actual person.
Shoot, I feel angst when just pondering the state of the planet. I haven't seen "An Inconvenient Truth" because I just can't handle it. I stop reading when I see the headline "Giant Ice Shelf Cracks Off Antarctica". I was given the book and I haven't even cracked it open.
So just imagine when the problem is tied to a loved family member or friend...especially those with the chronic type of issues. I can't just close the book or change the channel with them.
So, I am trying to LET IT GO! My sister has a new phrase these days:
"Let go or be dragged"
I like that...like it a lot.
I have to constantly remind myself that letting go of other people problems is not being a bad friend, sister, wife, daughter. I can care, empathise, show concern, listen to their venting, and I don't have to solve it. They are adults and have their own path. I sometimes feel that if I put all the energy I expend on worrying about other people back on myself - I might actually accomplish some goals I have set for myself.
Even as I type, I feel guilty. Wondering what some of my friends will think when they read this. Will they judge me?
When will THAT feeling go away? Hey, I'm a work in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? First of all, guilt is for when you do something WRONG. Second, if my friends are mad nbecause I am trying to give up my co-dependent ways and take care of myself...then maybe they aren't my friends after all. Hmm....
As I pondered all this, I found these images that illustrate what I'm feeling. Maybe I can use them as visualizations when I need that extra support.
And, they are kinda funny. :-)