Thank God it Wasn't an Owl!

Early this morning, around 4am, I was having some serious restless legs and couldn't sleep. In order to not annoy my slumbering hubby with my "flopping like a fish out of water" routine, I grabbed a blanket and headed down to the living room couch.  The couch is actually comfy, three of the windows were open and a nice breeze was coming in.

Just as finished settling and closed my eyes...a cell phone went off outside the window. A little soft trilly song. And, it only went off once...like someone caught it. It literally sounded like it was in my living room.

There are no words to explain how fast my eyes flew open and how motionless and quiet I became as I was listening, trying to figure out if I could hear someone standing outside of my house.  Was it the neighbor? It really didn't sound like there were walls and windows between the sound and me. My neighbors girlfriend is often outside (facing my window) sitting on the stoop talking on her phone. But, it's 4 am. She is not out there. And I have never heard her phone make that noise.

Needless to say, I looked around (stuffing down that fear I have that I will look out the window and see a face looking in) and saw nothing. Heard nothing more. I settled back down and finally fell asleep. I must have been REALLY tired to actually rest after that.

All I can say is: Shannon - thank GOD it wasn't an owl!! LOL ...um inside joke there. 

My Brain is Weird.

When I am procrastinating, I get the word stuck in my head to the tune of Carly Simon's "Anticipation". I have no idea why.

When I am sitting some place waiting for a job to start, or waiting for someone to show up, or the class is taking a test and I forgot to bring a book that day, and time is creeping, I get the Steve Miller Song "Fly Like an Eagle" Stuck in my head. Specifically the  "time keeps on slippen' slippen' slippen' into the future..." part. It doesn't really help.

Does YOUR brain work in mysterious ways? Do tell....I can't be the only one.

Stop the Ride, I'm Getting Off

Its been a while since I wrote this post.  I still stand behind every word I wrote.  I still believe in having hope and patience with those who suffer from mental illness. Everyday I remind myself how hard it must be to live that way every day. Stuck on the roller coaster while that damn carnie just won't stop the ride and let you off.

I rode the downward slope with a friend a couple days ago. She went screaming down, down, down, and I was belted in next to her scared, sad, mad, and damn tired to be there...again.  Sunday was far from the first time we have made a trip to the hospital and unfortunately, unless something drastic changes, she is well on her way to a million frequent flyer miles.

Like I said, I still stand behind my earlier post. But, those with mental illness and addiction have to take some control and help themselves. We can't do it all for them. We can lead them to services, addiction recovery, doctors and safety. Getting them to realize they need these services is a whole other problem.  Even worse is when they know they need the services but choose their addiction over family and friends and life. Repeatedly.

The loved ones of those suffering from addiction take a beating. We love, hope, get crushed, love some more, hope, get crushed again, love and love some more. And if we have the strength, we know when to  step back and distance our selves from the situation. I am having to find that strength. There is nothing I can do. I have done it all. I am stepping away. While my heart hurts, my head is telling me I'm doing the right thing. I don't expect her to understand. She may never understand.

So, I still have hope for her. I will always have hope that she will seek help and her life will become the one she is meant to have.

Where Did the Hours Go?

I started this weekend Thursday afternoon. I had a meeting with some great people and I convinced them to have it at our beach house. Heh Heh Heh!! I drove down to the coast with a friend and since no one else took me up on the "hey come the night before instead of driving down at the crack of dawn", we spend the evening chatting, enjoying pizza and a couple of beers.  Perfection.

Friday was our retreat and then Friday night, a little shin dig for a fabulous friend. Saturday, I awoke with the motivation to spend all day working in my office and finally getting it cleaned up, organized and ready to actually use.  Alas, I was derailed by Rex, who decided we should work in the yard. Hmmm...its not a gazillion degrees outside...ok fine.

Saturday ended with Sushi and the FREAKIEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER WATCHED! Which of course my dear friend told me TO NOT WATCH. I will from now on head the advice of said dear friend. I may be scarred for life.

As for today, I have businessy stuff to catch up on and a party at my sis-in-laws house tonight. 

All very fun stuff, but I still need more hours and my darn office to be cleaned. Ah well..I figure having "She had a clean office" on my headstone would suck.  I'd rather it say  "we tried to find that piece of paper in her office that said what she wanted on her head stone, but she was out having fun so much that her office was a wreck and it was impossible to find that paper and thus, THIS is the what we put on it instead"

I hope everyone had some fun this weekend. :-)

I'm a Teeeny Bit Freaked Out...

I have this really important meeting today in Salem. We are trying to convince the state to change their minds on a really poor decision that was made. With cuts being made everywhere, this is going to be hard to do. But, with facts and common sense, perhaps we can at lease make them think or get an extension.

I have a HUGE fear that no one will show up. The group will be small and less impactful. We really need people to show. I guess at the end of the day, I will know I tried to make something happen.

Wish us luck!

New Look!

So, I went overboard and played with the new designs Blogger has available. I picked this picture because if I could be there right now, I would be.

Ok, Ok, I know, I know!

I received some fabulous Reiki tonight by a wonderful friend. It was fantastic! While we chatted, she told me I had to PLEASE post something new on my blog. So true my friend! I promise I will catch up and post some new stuff pronto.