The Good Twin

Conflicting Thoughts, Closure & The High Road

2011-05-02T11:02:00.000-07:00

As the news has come out about the death of Osama Bin Laden, I am equally fascinated and scared of the barrage of comments I have seen on facebook. facebook is where I first heard the news and it was blowing up as people rejoiced in this death, hailed the troops and alternately applauded or criticized President Obama.

My first reaction was interest and a thought of "Finally, they found him. He is dead. What will come of this?" But, I didn't have that rush of joy and celebration that so many seem to be having. Perhaps it is not part of my make up to celebrate death and murder. Any death or murder. We all see news stories and video clips of terrorists celebrating the deaths of American soldiers, celebrating when America has experienced great loss - for example the Katrina disaster. Video of them burning our flag and such hatred in the celebration.

Do we want to look like that?

I have seen comments of outrage that we treated his body according to Islamic Law. Cries of protest that we didn't drag his body through the streets as a show our victory. This is the exact way terrorists have treated the bodies of our soldiers, of UN workers, of reporters.

Do we want to act like that?

By honoring Islamic Law, I think we took the high road. And, lest you think me naive, I'm sure it was also a political decision to ward off the predicted threats of retaliation to come from killing Bin Laden. These events are sure to happen and if we stave off the intensity or amount by treating his body with respect, I can live with that.

Closure is a concept that I don't believe in. I don't think that a traumatic event in a persons life can just magically be "closed", put to rest, or wholly make sense as a result of another action. As we grow and learn and change, these events mean different things to us. As we go through the grieving process and acceptance, these events effect us in different ways. Closure just doesn't happen.

I speak from experience. A dear friend of mine was murdered several years ago. I have gone from shock to anger to grief to just plain missing my friend everyday. If they find the murderer will I feel differently - I don't think so. I wouldn't be consumed by a sense of peace. My friend is still gone. Would I feel like some justice has been served? Yes - I think I would.

I hope the families effected by the tragedy on September 11th find peace throughout their whole lives. Perhaps this event helps them. I don't begrudge them that.

A post I saw on facebook reminded people that this event means different things to different people and that we need to respect each persons response. I can get with that. Why? Because we live in a country where we can all have our emotions, opinions and thoughts. Without the fear of punishment. That is America. That is freedom.

Take THAT, Anxiety!

2011-04-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

That's right - I am an anxious person. There, I've said it, it's out there and I can't get it back. Not that I want to. I have learned that I am better off just admitting that I experience anxiety. Hiding it just makes it worse.

I have spent a lot of time working on this particular aspect of my personality. Sometimes I think I should be a lot farther along than I am, and then I remember that I could be stuck in my house and too afraid to leave. That is sooooo not an option, even though it seemed like a good one for awhile. At times, it still does.

Every couple of years I do something that completely challenges my anxiety and throws me for an utter looper. It makes my anxiety shoot through the roof and feels horrid while I'm doing it. My goal: to get out on the other side, still alive, proud that I didn't let my anxiety stop me.

A couple of years ago my big challenge was a two month long improve comedy class at Comedy Sportz. This was done after a therapist asked me to come up with two of the scariest scenarios I could think of. I came up with sky diving and improve comedy. Then she told me to pick one and do it. I picked the improve comedy because I really do think falling out of a plane might give me a heart attack. Peeing my pants on stage, while embarrassing, wouldn't kill me. I made it through the class without any serious melt downs (there were some serious headaches), didn't die and was really proud of myself.

I should note that we built up to this activity. I literally had to start with simple tasks. Like the time my home work was to make 2 phone calls before my next session. Sounds simple - for those with out anxiety - it isn't always easy for me.

This past December I challenged my anxiety again. I decided to try a new kind of interpreting: video relay. I had successfully avoided VRS interpreting for years. Dedicated to my decision, I let everyone know that there was no way in HELL, I would EVER do VRS. Ever. Did I say ever? Why you might ask? I tried to convince myself that I just wasn't interested. It wasn't my thing. Blah blah blah. A smidge true, yes. But mostly: I was freaked the heck out! Due to FCC rules, I had no mental image of the environment due to never seeing the environment/call center(ya, that doesn't help the girl who wants to know what everything is like before she goes/does it.). Oh, and I heard all sorts of horror stories. Again: not helping.

So, last December a couple of friends told me they were going to do the training and hey, wouldn't it be cool if I joined the group? Crap. Double crap. TRIPLE crap. I decided to check it out, and promptly regretting making that decision. Long story short: I didn't pull the plug on my decision. I didn't want to be a quitter and I have to say through the years, the feeling of "I am not a quitter" has kept me going when my anxiety wanted me curled up in the fetal position crying.

Of course getting through the training was one of the most stressful things I have ever done. I know the others in the group knew that I was freaked, but there is no way they knew the extent of my anxiety. They had no idea when I was light headed, sick to my stomach, dizzy, experiencing an anxiety head ache. They didn't know that I could barely sleep the week of the training. Or the amount of deep breathing I was doing. OK, they did have an idea with I was close to tears - can't really hide that. But, they encouraged me and had my back. I almost emailed them and explained why I was acting a bit odd, but never did.

I feel good that I made it through. If I hadn't I wouldn't be having the fun I am having now. I wouldn't be working with some really great people. Best of all, I don't have the regret of not doing it. Taking on this challenge ended up being a great decision. New people, new skills, and a new notch on my "screw you, anxiety" belt.

Anxiety is still a part of my life every day. That is just a fact. But, I try to not let it stop me. The therapist who helped me with my anxiety asked me one session, "What do you do to combat your anxiety?" My response: "I get up and go to work. I keep interpreting. I book jobs even though almost every time I do - I have an immediate impulse to cancel. I didn't quit the interpreting program back when I was in school and my anxiety was through the roof along with a digestive disorder that was made worse by the anxiety. I take jobs that challenge me. I stand in front of people and do my job. That's how I deal with my anxiety." It's true.

So, I have a couple of years to ponder what my next anxiety challenge will be. Hhhmmmm........I have no idea at this point. But, I'm sure I will figure it out. In the mean time, I will continue to feel anxious. I will continue to fight it. I will continue.

Me? Slacker? Maybe Not.

2011-04-03T19:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I started out the Lenton season with high hopes of giving something up. I was going to give up Facebook and then a friend of mine texted me with a plea: "Please don't give up Facebook for Lent. I need you in my virtual life." Well, crap. Ok, since this is one of the very few people I have known since first grade, and she lives out of town and we don't get to chat, I decided to find something else to give up.

The point of Lent is to focus on your faith. Taking time to sacrifice in order to better understand your relationship with God. So, while I have yet to figure out what I am giving up - I have taken time to ponder.

Candy? Sugar? Eating out? I feel like I have done these things before and I don't actually learn much from them. So, I kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

I have yet to come up with anything.

But perhaps I am not a slacker after all. This season I have been more aware of spiritual issues. Without going into too much detail, I will tell that that I was raised in a church, still feel connected to that church but also have serious SERIOUS issues with my home denomination and with most churches in general.

Over the years I have come to learn that many people I know who are strongly into their faith are also some of the most close minded, judgemental people I know. I find that very sad, as I don't equate religion/God with hate but with love.

Anyway - I wrestle with religion daily. I believe, yet I believe in my own way. I did catch a lot of flack from "friends" about giving something up for Lent. Some friends I can joke about with this and others I know are not really joking but like to lump people who believe (whether it be a little or a lot) in with the morons of the world. Now, that's not really fair either. I don't judge you for not believing anything. Really I don't care what other people do or do not believe. Oh, and I am not a moron.

Recently a book has come out from a well known pastor. The premise of the book is basically the discussion that perhaps we all end up in heaven. Really, this is controversial? He asks in the book, "Is Gandhi in heaven?" I'm amazed at how many people, who call themselves Christians, answered no to that question. "Well certainly he isn't, he wasn't Christian." Oy, people, get a grip. I plan to read this book, but at this point I am hold #57 out of 80 hold at the library, so it will be awhile. I don't typically read this type of book, but this one is calling to me.

So, maybe I am not a slacker. Who knew?

Oh, and the photo? It is beautiful metal work above the doorway into a Catholic cathedral in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

Ok, Already! I know! :-)

2010-11-01T21:21:00.000-07:00

I know I have been seriously lacking in the blog posting department. But, having my DAD say "You haven't posted anything in a while" seriously drives the point home.

Ok, Dad and everyone, I will get on the ball. Ideas anyone? I need a theme I think to get myself in gear!

I am now open for suggestions.

Madison, You're Pretty Dang Cool!

2010-10-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

We have been in Madison, Wisconsin the past 5 days and WOW, I must say - I could easily live here. Of course that's being said without experiencing the Wisconsin winter. This place is beautiful. Trees are changing color everywhere.With the absence of pine trees, the color is even more concentrated. Add in the fact that Madison is situated on an isthmus between two lakes, and I love it even more. I could never be land locked, and while the lakes are not the ocean - it's still a body of water.

Another upside - this is a college town! University of Wisconsin is here and gives it a great vibe. Fun, funky, intelligent, and open minded. There is a lot of cyclists, restaurants, and space to stretch out and be active.

The past few days have been a blur of wedding activity as we celebrated and prepared for Leah and Marks wedding. We've all been busy, but having fun. And food has been a prime activity. Their wedding went off without a hitch and a good time was had.

Tomorrow we head back to Milwaukee to catch our flight and return home. Getting back to the grind will be ok, but I have to say I will miss this place and look forward to coming back.

Busy as a ...

2010-09-12T00:20:00.000-07:00

Life feels frantic these days. Mid August was the beginning of the "mad dash to October 11th" That is the day we fly back from my being in and interpreting my friends wedding in Wisconsin. I'm very excited for the trip, but also excited that as of that day - my life will calm down. The whole wedding thing is actually no biggie, it's the rest of my life that is nuts.

Weddings, employee retreats, planning meetings, coordinating workshops, out of town trips, everyday work....all of this has been at mach speed lately. I have one weekend free until I fly out for my friends wedding. ONE! Granted some of what I have been doing is fun, but at this point a little sitting on my back end would feel great.

I miss my friends. I really want to meet up with two friends for a long talked about, but not accomplished dinner together. I want to clean my office, get organized, and get ducks in rows. I want to ride my bike. I would like to chat on the phone. I would like to respond to a text with "hey lets meet up" not " on my way to/I'm just walking into/am in a meeting/job/workshop".

I need to ssslllllooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww ddddddoooooowwwwwwnnnnnnnnn!!!

Thank God it Wasn't an Owl!

2010-08-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

Early this morning, around 4am, I was having some serious restless legs and couldn't sleep. In order to not annoy my slumbering hubby with my "flopping like a fish out of water" routine, I grabbed a blanket and headed down to the living room couch. The couch is actually comfy, three of the windows were open and a nice breeze was coming in.

Just as finished settling and closed my eyes...a cell phone went off outside the window. A little soft trilly song. And, it only went off once...like someone caught it. It literally sounded like it was in my living room.

There are no words to explain how fast my eyes flew open and how motionless and quiet I became as I was listening, trying to figure out if I could hear someone standing outside of my house. Was it the neighbor? It really didn't sound like there were walls and windows between the sound and me. My neighbors girlfriend is often outside (facing my window) sitting on the stoop talking on her phone. But, it's 4 am. She is not out there. And I have never heard her phone make that noise.

Needless to say, I looked around (stuffing down that fear I have that I will look out the window and see a face looking in) and saw nothing. Heard nothing more. I settled back down and finally fell asleep. I must have been REALLY tired to actually rest after that.

All I can say is: Shannon - thank GOD it wasn't an owl!! LOL ...um inside joke there.

My Brain is Weird.

2010-07-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

When I am procrastinating, I get the word stuck in my head to the tune of Carly Simon's "Anticipation". I have no idea why.

When I am sitting some place waiting for a job to start, or waiting for someone to show up, or the class is taking a test and I forgot to bring a book that day, and time is creeping, I get the Steve Miller Song "Fly Like an Eagle" Stuck in my head. Specifically the "time keeps on slippen' slippen' slippen' into the future..." part. It doesn't really help.

Does YOUR brain work in mysterious ways? Do tell....I can't be the only one.

Stop the Ride, I'm Getting Off

2010-07-20T23:38:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I wrote this post. I still stand behind every word I wrote. I still believe in having hope and patience with those who suffer from mental illness. Everyday I remind myself how hard it must be to live that way every day. Stuck on the roller coaster while that damn carnie just won't stop the ride and let you off.

I rode the downward slope with a friend a couple days ago. She went screaming down, down, down, and I was belted in next to her scared, sad, mad, and damn tired to be there...again. Sunday was far from the first time we have made a trip to the hospital and unfortunately, unless something drastic changes, she is well on her way to a million frequent flyer miles.

Like I said, I still stand behind my earlier post. But, those with mental illness and addiction have to take some control and help themselves. We can't do it all for them. We can lead them to services, addiction recovery, doctors and safety. Getting them to realize they need these services is a whole other problem. Even worse is when they know they need the services but choose their addiction over family and friends and life. Repeatedly.

The loved ones of those suffering from addiction take a beating. We love, hope, get crushed, love some more, hope, get crushed again, love and love some more. And if we have the strength, we know when to step back and distance our selves from the situation. I am having to find that strength. There is nothing I can do. I have done it all. I am stepping away. While my heart hurts, my head is telling me I'm doing the right thing. I don't expect her to understand. She may never understand.

So, I still have hope for her. I will always have hope that she will seek help and her life will become the one she is meant to have.

Where Did the Hours Go?

2010-07-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

I started this weekend Thursday afternoon. I had a meeting with some great people and I convinced them to have it at our beach house. Heh Heh Heh!! I drove down to the coast with a friend and since no one else took me up on the "hey come the night before instead of driving down at the crack of dawn", we spend the evening chatting, enjoying pizza and a couple of beers. Perfection.

Friday was our retreat and then Friday night, a little shin dig for a fabulous friend. Saturday, I awoke with the motivation to spend all day working in my office and finally getting it cleaned up, organized and ready to actually use. Alas, I was derailed by Rex, who decided we should work in the yard. Hmmm...its not a gazillion degrees outside...ok fine.

Saturday ended with Sushi and the FREAKIEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER WATCHED! Which of course my dear friend told me TO NOT WATCH. I will from now on head the advice of said dear friend. I may be scarred for life.

As for today, I have businessy stuff to catch up on and a party at my sis-in-laws house tonight.

All very fun stuff, but I still need more hours and my darn office to be cleaned. Ah well..I figure having "She had a clean office" on my headstone would suck. I'd rather it say "we tried to find that piece of paper in her office that said what she wanted on her head stone, but she was out having fun so much that her office was a wreck and it was impossible to find that paper and thus, THIS is the what we put on it instead"

I hope everyone had some fun this weekend. :-)

I'm a Teeeny Bit Freaked Out...

2010-07-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

I have this really important meeting today in Salem. We are trying to convince the state to change their minds on a really poor decision that was made. With cuts being made everywhere, this is going to be hard to do. But, with facts and common sense, perhaps we can at lease make them think or get an extension.

I have a HUGE fear that no one will show up. The group will be small and less impactful. We really need people to show. I guess at the end of the day, I will know I tried to make something happen.

Wish us luck!

New Look!

2010-07-12T23:25:00.000-07:00

So, I went overboard and played with the new designs Blogger has available. I picked this picture because if I could be there right now, I would be.

Ok, Ok, I know, I know!

2010-07-12T23:01:00.000-07:00

I received some fabulous Reiki tonight by a wonderful friend. It was fantastic! While we chatted, she told me I had to PLEASE post something new on my blog. So true my friend! I promise I will catch up and post some new stuff pronto.

Cracktacular!

2010-05-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

I broke down at about 11:45 last night. Grabbed the keys, walked through the rain, got in my car, grabbed my book, started reading. I did manage to have some self control and only ready about 20 pages then crashed. See, I'm improving.

Will Power

2010-05-28T13:32:00.000-07:00

So I have managed to keep the crack in my car. I'm currently reading a book that I need to finish first....Wow, if I could use this will power for other aspects of my life, things would be different.

I Couldn't Take It!

2010-05-27T01:00:00.000-07:00

Try as I might, I couldn't stop myself from driving to an out of the way library for the next installment of literary crack!

I can't focus...

2010-05-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

I have a new addiction.

Where Am I?

2010-05-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling lost and not exactly sure of where I am. Or where I am suppose to be. Do you ever feel that way? Like you don't exactly fit anywhere. Like the odd piece of the puzzle that just doesn't match up. That's what I feel like.

Like you are not the version of you that everyone else sees and you just want to scream, "DAMN IT, that's not the real me! You don't know who I REALLY am. Why doesn't anyone see me..." Why can't I connect with what they see?

I need a road map. I need the fog to clear.

I'm Heading to Tower...Want to Come?

2010-04-27T10:53:00.001-07:00

I picked up Rex's iPod today and stared at it...and stared...and realized I have no idea what to do with it. I assume it's "user friendly" and that I will get the hang of it, but at this point I need lessons.

Last week I asked Rex to bring his iPod home from the office, as it seemed he wasn't really using it much. I though, cool, I can load it full of my music! And by "my music" I mean downloading the music from my stacks of CD's in my office (you can do that, right?) not "my music" in the same way as Ross Geller means "my music".

Last night I plugged the iPod into the computer for a good charge and this morning I disconnected it. Then, I stared. I don't know the first thing about iTunes and downloading or uploading music or whatever I need to do. Just to prove I'm not a complete and utter tech idiot - I then texted a good friend to tell her I need an iPod tutor.

What I really need is Tower Records. Remember the days when you went to the record store? Vinyl was to be played, not melted into bowls or formed into jewelry. (although, both look cool)Flipping through the stacks of albums until you found what you wanted. Waiting to see the sneak peak of the cover art for your favorite bands next album. I like the whole vinyl process. I like the sounds of the music with the distinctive pops and cracks as the needle moved across the ridges. Hey, and just how is one suppose to hear the devil on a CD? Those can't be played backwards.

Tapes were cool. Especially with a walkman. I have vivid memories of being in the car driving to the beach, headphones on listening to Culture Club and The Alarm. I do like CD's...although I don't understand why they price hasn't dropped after all these years. Smaller, shiny, me likey. But I still miss going to the store...the record store.

Maybe my background is the problem, you see I was raised for a while in a record store. My Grandpa and Grandma Baughman owned Town Record Shop in Portland. Located at what is now the Zuppans on Burnside and 23rd. Each time we visited them at the store we were given a Disney Long Playing Record. You know, the kind with the book and it chimed to turn the page and told you when to flip the 45. I still have them. The two things that did freak me out at the store were the life size cut outs. Two of them loomed in the front and scared the bejesus out of me: Elvis and Barbra Streisand. I don't know why they scared me, but I think it was a chunkier Elvis and it was during the time Babs had an afro and knee socks...perhaps justified fear. After my Gramps was too sick to keep the shop open, Elvis and Barbra came to my Grandparents home...the back bedroom to be specific. I SWEAR people used to send me in there to fetch things on purpose, just to scare me.

I can't tell you how many times my brother, sister and I jumped in the car and headed to Tower. It was always exciting. The idea of new music, the latest release, and the fact that they stayed open late made it into an adventure. Square yellow bags with the red block lettering....(speaking of bags, after my Gparent's store closed we some how came into possession of a stack of bags with KISS on the side. We used KISS plastic bags, gloriously sporting the four faces, as Halloween treat bags for years. They were AWESOME!)

No doubt I will figure out the iPod. When we first got it, Rex had his sister load her songs onto it, so now I will be in the process of deleting some of those and clearing space for our/my stuff. This will be easy, right? I hate feeling like I need a class for the not really latest technology. Well, new to me technology. Where's my turntable? Walkman? Boom box?

Tonigh: John Prine

2010-04-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

When John Prine comes to town it's family event for us. My Dad raised us on Prine, Cash, Nelson, and Presely. I have distinct memories of us riding along in the 1978 black Ford Pickup, heading to the coast and always stopping to check out the elk in the meadows or fish in the Wilson River.
Tonight we head to the Schnitz for great music, Prine telling fun stories and bonding with my Pops and siblings.
I was going to add a video, but alas it didn't work. I'll see what I can do about that.

If I Had My Druthers....

2010-04-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

... i would be here today.

Here being the trail that leads to Romona Falls and back.

I suppose I should have added a picture of the actual falls...

Point being - in nature and not at work.

Orange = Happy

2010-04-13T00:25:00.000-07:00

Rex gave me this flower.

The color orange makes me happy. That's all I have for today. :-)

It's ALIVE!!...The Roof I Mean...

2010-04-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

This picture taken from the Ecoroof Blog at the City of Portland Ecoroof Program Website

Rex and I went to the most AMAZING lecture this week about living roofs.

The Oregon Zoo, in coordination with Audubon Society of Portland and a few other people, hosted a lecture with Dusty Gedge and "urban ecologist, performer, and public speaker". He was amazing. It was amazing. Dusty was full of information, science, humor, energy and passion for covering our roofs with life. Not only plant life, but the bugs and bees and such that come to live in the plantings placed on roofs.

The almost 2 hour lecture went fast as we saw slide after slide of living roofs in his native England and neighbor Sweden. Beautiful roofs that made the city look alive and provided much needed space for rare and amazing species of invertebrates that have had their habitat destroyed by high rises and roads. Dusty and his comrades have been working for the past few decades on programs and education and projects that just keep expanding the number of roofs that are now alive.

So, why was he here in our neck of the woods? Because Portland is putting a lot of energy into eco roofs. Sam Adams has started a program at the city called The Portland Ecoroof Program. Mayor Adams wants to see 49 acres of roofs converted to living roofs! NICE! And, they are giving away grants to those who are interested in participating.

I have to say, my eyes have been opened to the benefit of these types of roofs. I always thought they were cool, but now I know they are sorely needed in our urban areas.

If you would like to learn more about Dusty Gedge, check out his website, www.dustygedge.com. From there you can take a gander at his blog.

For more WONDERFUL information about living roofs, check out his other website, www.livingroofs.org. Here you can find information regarding roofs, how can you do a roof, plants, get access to all sorts of blogs, and see some beautiful roofs in the UK.

No Plaid to be Had?

2010-03-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was at Fabric Depot last week looking for some baby fabric to make a gift for a friend. While I was getting the cute green polka dot fabric cut, I mentioned being partial to plaid while chatting with the woman at the counter.

This is what I hear in response: "We just don't carry plaid here. I think we have 2 types in wool."

Say what? HUH? I'm sorry I must have misunderstood. Did you say you DON'T carry plaid?

For those of you who are not familiar with Fabric Depot - it's a HUGE building on 122nd and Stark. Over an acre of fabric. For me, it's the fabric version of Powells. I get equally as mind boggled and overwhelmed in Fabric Depot as I do in Powells. Which of course leaves me two options: buy everything I see OR walk around in utter amazement and buy nothing...typically I do the latter.

There are fabrics with cowboys, cars, shoes, cupcakes, and for Pete's sake - green beans and carrots! How can you not have a classic plaid?

Would Powells ever say: "I'm sorry... Fiction...geez...we just don't carry that. We may have 2 books in the mystery section." It think not.

Fabric Depot needs to take a lesson from Powells. Searching their website for "plaid" actually returns 50 hits. 10 of which are specifically about plaids and tartans....and a few that look suspiciously like cheesy Scottish themed romance novels. The most interesting hit was the first: Tartan: Romancing the Plaid.

Ok, rant over. I need a customer comment card, I guess. "Please carry more plaid. Thanks" Signed - The Buchanan.

And by the way - that little picture there is the Buchanan Plaid.

March Forth..Oh the Irony!

2010-03-04T11:16:00.000-08:00

I planned to use my down time today to pay bills, send important emails and catch up. I did get a
a few items finished and then I got side-tracked.

Like a good procrastinator, I decided to google search if today was a holiday here..or anywhere..of any sort.

According to Holidays On The Net: today is "March Forth: Do Something Day. March 4th...er...forth with your goals today. Do something, do anything. Just stop procrastinating."

I love it when the universe speaks to me. Nuff' said.

Culture of Fear

2010-03-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

Another reason why I can't stand the local news. Not only do they serve up "snow storm panic" every year, but we also get "heat wave panic", "ID theft panic", and the ever so generic "see what can KILL you...in 10 minutes when we come back from break panic".

Now we have "earthquake panic". Yep, we live on a fault line. Yep, we are over due for "the BIG one". Yep, to say it would do some serious damage, is an understatement. Should we PANIC?! Nope.

Instead of focusing on how we can help people in Chile, or what is being done in Chile for their people. OR just providing the facts, we get story after story warning us that we are next. We will die. Portland will fall into the earth. Oregon will crack off the continent and fall in the ocean. UG - I say ENOUGH!

Get a grip for Gods sake!

What is it with this whole living in fear of what we can't control era? Swine Flu. Earthquakes. Meteors bearing down on the planet. ETC ETC ETC.

I've been wanting to read The Culture of Fear: Why Americans are Afraid of the Wrong Things for a long time. I'm going to get it at the library today.

I care about whats happening in the world, as do most of us. But, our local news sucks. I want facts, not emotional warnings and fear tactics.

To Balance or Not to Balance..That is the ?

2010-02-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

I'm having one of those days. You know, the ones when you wake up from a deep sleep early in the morning because your To-Do list is already running through your head. No chance of going back to sleep after than either...at least not for me. I didn't even try. Instead, I picked up the ever present notebook next to my bed and started making my To-Do list and my grocery list. A few minutes later - I just got up.

I'm in a constant state of trying to find balance. My list of item to finish is never ending and yet I don't see my friends enough. Unfortunately, it's the list that nags at me from the back of my head. It's voice is louder.

So, today I have the option of seeing some friends, that I probably won't take. You see, that nagging little To-Do voice talks to the other part of my brain that causes anxiety. They get together and conspire against me, making me feel stress and angst, thus making fun...well...less fun.

If I just get the list done (is this REALLY possible?) the angst and anxiety will go away and fun can be had.

Today I choose preventative medicine - the To-Do list. It's the only way to find some eventual balance. THEN I can enjoy my fun time. I'm hoping to get to a place where my To-Do list is short and sweet and I can keep up on things. Therefore, allowing me TONS of fun time sans the nagging voice.

Off I go to get satisfaction from crossing items off my list. Laundry - check. Pay bills - check. And so on, and so on.

Happy Valentines Day! To YOU...and YOU...and YOU!

2010-02-12T16:31:00.000-08:00

Just a little song for my friends! No matter if I see you often or only rarely, my life would not be the same without you. :-) See video #1.

For those who cringe just a bit on Valentines Day the cartoon short, video #2, is for you!

Missing You....7 Years....

2010-01-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

Today I am missing my dear friend Curt. Maybe I am feeling especially down today, or maybe its that he was killed seven years ago as of January 12th, which has made January hard for me ever since. Either way, I have been thinking of Curt a lot lately.

I try to curb the mix of emotion and just focus on his gentleness and picture his great smile. He was the most kind spirited man. Willing to help anyone who needed it. He loved his family. I never heard him raise his voice, or talk bad about anyone. Ever. He shared himself and his love and his peace with those around him. Was selfless.

Curt was murdered. Shot in his home on a wintery Sunday. The neighbors outside taking down their Christmas lights heard nothing. Saw nothing. Know nothing.

I found out about his death at work. At that point I didn't know the how, just that he was gone. Luckily there was another interpreter there and they took my class - well part of it. They could only stay so long..I would have to pull it together and interpret. I don't know how I did it. All, I could think was that I had to get home and call a couple of our mutual friends and tell them them news. I had to call his best friend and get the details. I had to get in the car and drive to Boise - NOW.

In the middle of making those calls, I found out he was murdered. In a small town just outside of Boise. When I hear people say "you live in Portland wow, I'm too scared to go downtown" I want to laugh. Crime happens everywhere.

I didn't make it to work the next day, as a friend and I were driving all night in order to arrive at the funeral in time. Monday at work a friend asked - "hey, where were you Friday." After telling him, I remember saying " I hope they never find the person who did it, because I can't imagine hating someone this much for the rest of my life." My friend was taken aback by this. But at the time, only a few days after, I was filled with such anger and hate for this mysterious person who stole the life of my friend. At this mysterious person who stole the lives of his family, who changed all of our lives forever.

My hate and anger has lessened. Although it still grips me at times and I ache with an anger I don't know what to do with. My sadness is still strong. At random times I still experience a rush of emotion and tears in my eyes, as if it just happened.

I find pictures of he and I in my office and I smile, remembering the fun times we had in Toledo at the WSRID Summer Institute. Those are good days...when I am surprised to see his smiling face staring up at me. "Hi Tina! Remember: be happy and I'm in a good place."

In 2007, Curt's wife was arrested and convicted of his murder. The trial split his family and the town into two camps. Those who thought her guilty and those who did not. The evidence was not overwhelming and the police did a horrible job at processing evidence. Including losing hair found on his body, and a technician throwing out the tissue/trace evidence found under his nails from struggling with his killer. His wife had no scratches on her, no gun powder residue and an alibi. I can go and and on about the horrendous mistakes made during the investigation. His children totally support their mother and are working on an appeal. But, I will leave that for another post.

I struggle with the not knowing. Did she? Didn't she? In my gut, I don't think she did it. And when I read the evidence..or lack there of...I really really don't think she did it. Sometimes I think this turn of events has made the grieving harder. There is no end. Just more struggle and more questions and no new answers.

Curt was a Father, brother, husband, Grandfather, interpreter, & friend. At his funeral his brother quoted the scripture "Well done my good and faithful servant" - I thought I had never heard anything more fitting. His life was well done, in every way.

I miss you Curt. I think about you everyday. I try to use your life as an example of how to live. With peace, love, and acceptance.

Hhhhmmm...What to Do?

2010-01-06T19:05:00.000-08:00

I'm ready to chuck it in.

By this I mean: unload stuff, downsize, shirk my extra responsibilities, and just clear up my life.

Rex and I were married 4 year ago and it seems we have been running, going, doing ever since. Work, remodel, move, work, remodel, work, set up a business, LTA, etc etc. Don't misunderstand - I like my life. I like to do do do. But, maybe..just maybe...I'm ready for don't don't don't.

I can't keep my office clean. I haven't taken care of myself. I haven't gotten my yard finished. Where is the time? It has become more clear lately that time is fleeting. Minutes, hours, days fly by a mock speed and I am screaming into the future. That sonic boom you hear is actually the sound of my realization: Life is short.

Where do I want to be? What do I want to be doing? And with whom?

We decided this year we would see our friends and family more often. Rex and I need that. We need to decompress, laugh and let our loved ones know that they are loved. A much better way to spend my time I should think.

How does one go from being a do-do-do-doer, to a slow-down-let go of some stuff-er? And, why does this come with a feeling of guilt? Where does THAT come from?

I'm also a bit of pack-rat and am ready to unload, craigslist, give away anything I don't need. My sister often says: "Let go or be dragged" and I have to say that's how I feel these days.

So, new year, how about I look you in the face and see what I can do to clear things up.

I'll keep you posted.

World AIDS Day 2009 "Universal Access and Human Rights"

2009-12-01T06:52:00.000-08:00

No Explanation Needed.

2009-10-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

NAPCAN's latest campaign for a Child Friendly Australia.

NAPCAN is an organization in Australia focused on child abuse and neglect prevention and child well being.

Native Plants!

2009-10-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

Result #13 from dictionary.com after searching the word "native":

13.
originating naturally in a particular country or region, as animals or plants.

The two pictures above are my two best-friends in my native plant adventure. They are tremendous resources!

Bringing Nature Home by Douglas W. Tallamy is a wonderful book. It has been described as a "call to arms" and that is exactly what I felt reading it. I first heard Tallamy during an interview on NPR - Science Friday, I think. He was articulate, passionate and chock full of important information.

Most importantly for me: Tallamy imparts the message that YOU can help fix this problem. By planting native plants in your own back yard, you can help restore so much of the ecosystem that we have destroyed. Destruction from lawns, foreign ornamentals, non-native species can be reversed - a yard at a time.

Check this book out - but I strongly suggest the new and expanded version. The new version includes lists of natives to your area that the older ones doesn't.

The Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center, The University of Texas at Austin is an amazing website. You can research and look up almost all native plants, no matter where you live. I found 99% of what the Oregon natives while on the site.

Plants can be searched by common and scientific names and the results provide a lot of info. Pictures, too!

Just So YOU Know....

2009-10-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

I am NOT going to hell. No matter your opinion.

You don't know my path, as I don't know yours.

I don't assume to know the state of your relationship with God, so don't assume mine.

Nothing angers me more.

Worry about yourself.

Possibly more on this later....

Gardening

2009-10-02T13:40:00.001-07:00

I'm gardening this weekend. Clearing out the ever present weeds, preparing the beds, pulling stuff out and putting stuff in.

What I really want to plant is a Tree Peony! I LOVE the Peony. I had really wanted some for my wedding, but it was the wrong time of year. So, I think I will plant one or two, thus getting to enjoy them when I want.

Native plants are my focus for the yard, but I just can't resist. And, apparently, Oregon is the PRIME climate for such beauties.

I'll keep you posted.

My J-to-S Quotient

2009-09-07T11:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how I have gathered so much junk. Ok, some of it is not junk...just stuff. Stuff is different than junk. And belongings are different than stuff. Belongings have emotions attached. "Stuff" are objects that are a necessity, but have no emotions attached.

Not believing this are you?

I have come to understand my Junk - to - Stress Quotient. The more junk I have, the more stress I have. Apparently this is the case with Rex too.

Yesterday was the first day of "purge, clean, de-stress". That's a working title. It could turn into "hey, my whole house is going on Craigs List - come and get it".

It's not that I live with stacks of things around me. We aren't "hoarders". But for some reason there is too much stuff in my small house. So, in order to get things in order - and thus reduce our stress levels - "purge, clean, de-stress" has commenced. I think I'm liking it. And, coming from someone who gets easily overwhelmed and thus can not figure out where to start - that fact that I did start is already a step in the right direction.

I'll keep you posted as to our progress.

I'm So Damn Frustrated!

2009-08-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

Health care should be a right for all. No one should be allow to suffer slowly because they can not dole out the money needed to pay for treatment. I think our law makers and their federal health insurance have no idea what its like to NOT have health care. Let us revisit the Hippocratic Oath...perhaps our government leaders and decision makers should read it again.

The Hippocratic Oath: Modern Version

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

Written in 1964 by Louis Lasagna, Academic Dean of the School of Medicine at Tufts University, and used in many universities.

Hope! Hope? Hope.

2009-07-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

Imagine: You can't stand it in your own mind. What happens in your head is out of your control. You get to the point where you just want it to end. Or, you are at the point where you don't want to die, but you really REALLY want it to end. So, what do you do? The anxiety, the depression, the paranoia, and for some - the voices. The stigma they feel for having these feelings and sensations.

Now imagine: The person who is experiencing this is your loved one, friend, sibling, spouse, family member who deals everyday with feeling out of control to some degree.

For any of you living with loved ones who suffer with mental illness, you know what I am talking about. It's a roller coaster ride. Severe climbs up the track with the inevitable fall down the other side...and the occasional lull or straight away that gives you/them just enough time to catch your breath and get your bearings before the next thrill.

I find it difficult to deal with. The extremes of seeing them at their worst and best is tiring, maddening, saddening and at times makes me angry. When I get angry and want to give up, I remember one thing: THEY are the one experiencing all of this. THEY are the one who can't seem to find a day of peace...of REAL peace. Can you IMAGINE? My answer is always: no, I can't. I can't imagine being on the roller coaster my ENTIRE life. And I think I would be as worn out as they are. I would want it to be OVER as much as they are wanting it to be over.

I find it maddening that some of the situation is in their control. Therapy and medication are available - but how do you convince a person suffering like this to go get help? When all they want is someone to say "shabam!" and have it all be better. How do you convince someone experiencing despair that "you have control - you can make some choices that will help you", because they can? And they aren't.

We see people everyday who are on the street, talking to themselves, and are obviously having a rough go. Who we don't see are the mothers and fathers, sister and brothers, teachers, receptionists, grocery clerks, policemen, etc who are also suffering but are able to hide it better.

Please support your local agencies who offer services to the mentally ill and to their loved ones. Donate to agencies - they need money to offer resources. Donate your time - they need people to help with classes, office work, or just making calls to get others to donate. Educate yourself about the resources available in your community so that you can at least pass it along to a friend in need.

It takes a special kind of person to work with the mentally ill. No matter the degree of the mental illness. Be kind to anyone you know who does this type of work. It's a gift from God, Allah, or the universe - however you want to think of it.

If you are living this life - the life of the spouse, friend, sibling, family member: Take care of yourself. Do what you can, but realize your limits. Talk to someone. Find a support group. Learn about the disease. Don't make it your life. Love, truly love, the one who is suffering - when you are at the point where you don't want to love them anymore or think that you can't possibly love them anymore.

I'm a Mid 70's Kind of Gal...

2009-07-15T18:53:00.001-07:00

And, I don't mean the decade. I'm hot. It's hot. I got told to stuff it on FaceBook from my friends in Arizona because I was complaining about the heat. So, I have turned to MY domain - my blog - to complain.
I'm hot. It's hot. Freakishly baking hot. I need a cool breeze.

Haiku II

2009-07-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

Alas, I am home.

Goodbye my beach, just for now.

NoPo, here we go!

Am I Blue.... Am I Blue....yet?

2009-07-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

It's official. I am addicted to blueberries. I love them. Yes - I would marry them if I could.

Blueberry season has arrived...well at least in Selah, Washington. That's where my blueberries have been coming from...the blueberries I have been eating all week that is (yes, I do realize its only Wednesday). Specifically, I am referring to the two 2lb containers I have eaten this week. I just packed another 2lb container in my beach stuff. NO - I'm not ashamed. I'm like a camel - I need to fill my hump.

There is nothing more lovely than a box full of those little, round, chalky blue, spheres of perfection. Sweet, small, bursting with blueberry flavor.....

Do I need an intervention? Maybe. Someone assured me I would be sick if I ate all those blueberries. Well...let me tell you that the aforementioned sickness has not occured and will not! You don't know the amount of blueberries I can eat. My tolerance is high...HIGH!

I am starting to get flashes of Violet from Willy Wonka. "Violet, your turning violet, Violet!" I may turn blue.

A Pre-Trip Haiku

2009-06-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

To the beach I go

Sand, wind, seagull, salt spray, happy

Will I make it back?

Grease...and Greasier?

2009-06-26T22:13:00.000-07:00

Date: June 26, 2009

Time: 10:14pm

On TV: Grease

On TV after that: Grease 2

Is it sad that I'm sitting at home, with the dog, watching Grease and possibly Grease 2 if I stay up that late? Some might say yes. I say - lay off me bitch, cuz I LOVE these two movies! So - HA!

Who doesn't like Grease? John, Olivia and Stockard? HELLO!

I believe that the protocol for the Grease Fan is to hate Grease 2, but I just can't help it. A young Michelle Pfeiffer - she is still one of my favorites. And who doesn't just love Maxwell Caulfield? Periodically he will show up in a movie and I think - oh, Michael Carrington, the "Cool Rider" LOL!

Anyway - I'm singing along to both. All parts! Happy Friday!!

Innocence by Kathleen Tessaro

2009-06-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

I just finished this book. When I bought it, I thought it may be a bit of fluff....it didn't seem too deep, and the tag line was "Love. The greatest temptation of all." BUT - I have learned: Don't judge a book by it's cover.

Within 3 days time, I have finished this book. This is not really off the mark for me, I tend to read fast. I guess what I liked was all the places to book went in that amount of time and in 371 pages. The book follows three American girls who live in London and are in acting school. All is well for them until "love" enters the picture for one of the girls.

Now, this may sound like a sappy, stupid love story, but the description in the jacket doesn't give justice to the story. It's not just love, but the kind of love. It's not just girls' friendship, but the kinds of friendship. It's about paths chosen, lives lived, and what happens when your dead friend comes back to call you on it - and has a secret of her own.

Through series of time jumps - past, present, past, present again - the author takes Evie, Robbie and Imogene (mostly Evie & Robbie), who they think they are, and are they really just THAT? Or are they living with the ramifications of dreams deferred...or dreams they really didn't want in the first place?

While an easy read and not a "classic", I found that I was presently surprised by Innocence. It wasn't fluff. I loved the characters. And, as a gal who grew up in the 80's - I LOVE the references to the pop culture of the time. References to plays, sonnets, poems, and concertos appear throughout...and I'm sure if I knew the references well, I would draw even more meaning from the pages.

Side note: Late last night, or really early this morning, as I was finishing up, it hit me! The date was June 21, 2009. Huh, interesting. In the book, Part One is: February 1986. Part Two is: June 21, 1991. Part Three is: June 21, 1996. June 21st is a major date in the book. How is it I managed to pick a random book, in the clearance shelf, and read it just in time to coincide with the main date of the book? Woooo, trippy....

My Protective Force Field

2009-06-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

I need a protective force field.

I take on others stuff - troubles, angst, problems, emotions, etc. I actually feel what they feel...and, who knows where I learned this (well, I know but let's not go into it), I like to try and fix it. And, when it doesn't get fixed, it causes me more angst etc. Sometimes a little more than it is causes the actual person.

Shoot, I feel angst when just pondering the state of the planet. I haven't seen "An Inconvenient Truth" because I just can't handle it. I stop reading when I see the headline "Giant Ice Shelf Cracks Off Antarctica". I was given the book and I haven't even cracked it open.

So just imagine when the problem is tied to a loved family member or friend...especially those with the chronic type of issues. I can't just close the book or change the channel with them.

So, I am trying to LET IT GO! My sister has a new phrase these days:

"Let go or be dragged"

I like that...like it a lot.

I have to constantly remind myself that letting go of other people problems is not being a bad friend, sister, wife, daughter. I can care, empathise, show concern, listen to their venting, and I don't have to solve it. They are adults and have their own path. I sometimes feel that if I put all the energy I expend on worrying about other people back on myself - I might actually accomplish some goals I have set for myself.

Even as I type, I feel guilty. Wondering what some of my friends will think when they read this. Will they judge me?

When will THAT feeling go away? Hey, I'm a work in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? First of all, guilt is for when you do something WRONG. Second, if my friends are mad nbecause I am trying to give up my co-dependent ways and take care of myself...then maybe they aren't my friends after all. Hmm....

As I pondered all this, I found these images that illustrate what I'm feeling. Maybe I can use them as visualizations when I need that extra support.
And, they are kinda funny. :-)

Too Salty - Makes Me Crabby.

2009-06-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

So, I spent an hour on the Internet tonight looking for crab cake recipe that seemed doable and didn't require a trip to the store. AND - would work with canned crab meat..which might have been my downfall.

I know - CANNED crab meat! WHAT COULD I BE THINKING?! Well, I will tell you - it's cheaper and I thought I would give it a try. So - lets just let that go and I will tell you what happened.

I spent the time making the cakes, chilling them for an hour, cooking them until a beautiful golden brown. I made a salad and created a dressing of honey mustard, paprika, garlic and grape seed oil and a glass of strawberry lemonade ( I don't like lemonade, but that's a whole other blog about my dislike of water.) I sit down at the table, take a bite and it hits me - SUPER SONIC SALTY SUCKYNESS! What happened? What little troll came along and dumped a bucket of NaCl in my crab cakes? DAMN DAMN DAMN!

So, I just have to vent. Because I don't like salt. I don't crave salty things, I pick the salt off my pretzels, and a visit to the Great Salt Lake is not on my "bucket list" (ironically, I love the ocean...but whatever). I once had an encounter with the salty black licorice they sell at IKEA that ended with my head in the sink and my sister laughing so hard I though she was going to pee. Not funny.

Oh - the one time when salt is good? When the saltine its on is covered in chocolate icing.

Maybe I need to read "Salt: A World History" by Mark Kurlansky. Undoubtedly it will give me a genuine appreciation for my nemesis. And, I do have to admit, I am intrigued by the array of salts offered at Uwajimaya. Grey salt. Red salt. Pink salt. Brown salt. You get the picture

GA: Even Better When You Do a Handstand!

2009-06-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Head With Fruit Basket

The Gardner

The Cook

Self-explanatory.

GA: Water, Fire, Flora, Air & a Grotesque Head

2009-06-14T04:40:00.000-07:00

Water Fire Flora Air Grotesque Head

Out of these three the water is my favorite I think. I look at it and think "slimy and cold". It sends me in all directions..."What if my face was like that? What would that feel like? Would I drip salt water all over the place? Are the pieces alive?! But, hey, life is good - I have a very nice Jackie O-esque pearl necklace!"

Art should the the impetus for thought.....right? :-)

I also admire that GA still shows emotion in the faces and especially the eyes...

Guiseppe Arcimboldo: Self Portrait

2009-06-14T04:36:00.001-07:00

Giuseppe Arcimboldo (1526-1593)Self-portrait in paper (Man of Letters)Pen and ink on paper - 44,2 x 31,8 cmGenoa, Musei di Strada Nuova,Palazzo Rosso, Gabinetto Disegni e Stampe

Behold the artist responsible for making faces out of grains, fruit, vegetables, fish, birds and meat!

Notice he didn't exclude himself in the process - the first self portrait is himself made from paper.

His line drawings are fantastic and I particularly like second self portrait. The eyes are deep and hold emotion, the crooked nose....

Hi G!

One of My Favorites: Guiseppe Arcimboldo

2009-06-14T03:51:00.000-07:00

Winter

Autumn

Summer

Spring

The Four Seasons
Guiseppe Arcimboldo, 1527 -1593, Mannerist artist.

I found the work of this artist while in my college art history class. I think many people have seen these works, but they never cease to amaze me. Especially when considering the years he was alive - this was not the typical art being produced.

Arcimboldo was born in Milan Italy to a father who was a stained glass artist for the church. At 22 Guiseppe took over his fathers position and produced stained glass for two cathedrals in Milan.

After this he became a court artist for Kings and Emperors in Vienna and Prague. While working under royalty, he not only painted his Mannerist work, or his "composite heads", but he was a stage and costume designer for the royal pageants and parades. He left a 150 page red leather bound sketch book to the Emperor..I will have to find some of his line drawings to post.

Guiseppe was a very famous artist during his day, but after his death was quickly forgotten. Not many of his works remain - most rotted away in a moldy closet for 300 years before being discovered.

The series of seasons above are some of his most well known paintings. I think they are fun and crazy and absolutely beautiful! Some royalty actually posed for him.

World Have Your Say.....My Groupie Moment

2009-06-12T15:35:00.001-07:00

Broadcasting from Pioneer Courthouse Square, Portland Oregon

The Portland audience taking it in and participating.

Ros moderating the show.

The show happening...live!

Ros & Me!

I dig OPB, NPR, PRI and all those other public radio organizations that bring us good programming, news and events from around the world. I find they offer different perspectives than we see here in the states and are generally are very interesting.

One show that I particularly LOVE Is World Have Your Say. Now, if your not familiar with WHYS, let me describe it to you. WHYS is a radio call in show that is broadcast around the world. The listeners email in all sorts of topic ideas and are the ones who pick the topic for the day. Whatever idea/current event/question submitted the most, or seems to be on everyones mind, wins out. After that, Ros Atkins and a host of other moderators engage callers, emailer, twitterers, bloggers, and audience participants in a discussion of the topic and encourage them to talk to each other. Believe it or not - a bulk of their commenters on the show are from Oregon! Interestingly, their listenership is skyrocketing in the US. Sweet.....! WHYS also has a blog that people post to about the topic and the comments don't stop at the end of the show. Check it out!

WHYS was in Portland this week for a news radio conference, YIPPY!! I didn't know they were coming (how did I miss that) until I heard them from Pioneer Square....I was actually working all the way across town and was right next to my next job. So what do I do? I drive all the way to downtown to catch the last 1/2 hour and then drive all the way back across town for my next job. Hey, sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. That was on Tuesday. The bonus for that day was that after the hour, they announced they would do another hour that was only being broadcast in Africa..so I stayed for that! (no, I wasn't late to my next gig.) Check out Africa Have Your Say.

Seeing the show in real time was fascinating. It's like perfectly timed chaos. Ros pointing at who gets to speak next and fielding the callers and invited guests, assistants passing out emails/tweets/blogs to read on air. Other audience members announcing the email address/phone number for the show. Microphone people running around so comments can be heard. WOW!

On Tuesday I learned the would broadcast from a pancake house in The Dalles on Wednesday (I have hear them broadcast from a persons bedroom before), a hotel on Thursday, and back at Pioneer Square on Friday. I was so there on Friday!

Fridays crowd was bigger than Tuesday, and while on Tuesday people seemed to come and go more. Friday - the crowd stayed. In all about 100 people were standing and sitting around as we talked about "Do You Believe in Fate?" with each other and callers from the Philippines, England, Africa, etc. One bummer was that I didn't get a pair of headphones..I kept waiting for someone to leave so I could take theirs, but it didn't happen. They finally turned on a speaker so those without headphones could hear.

In the end, I got to meet Ros and tell him how much I love the show. We talked a bit about who listens to the show and how its amazing that even though in the states we have tons of media we can access, the listenership from the US in through the roof. According to him we are seriously bucking the trend! Many of the other listeners come from countries that have limited media coverage -Nigeria for example. The number of South African listeners has decreased since the fall of Apartheid, due to expanded media services. India is falling a bit because media is improving also. Those are just the general trends. WHYS still has a huge following around the globe. Ros was a pleasure to talk to and even let me take a photo with him. (Thanks JG for taking the pic!) Great guy! The whole WHYS team was great actually.

If you get a chance - listen to them....you might like it!

What To Do....What To Do?

2009-06-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

I want to change the look of my blog. I'm not sure I like the templates. Hmmm.......

Roller Skating

2009-06-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

Picture to the left by Holly Leitner

I announced to Rex the other day, " I am going to find a pair of roller skates! Then I can skate around the neighborhood!"

His response: "Your going to fall and hurt your shoulder." This comes from his ongoing concern over my bum shoulder, and the fact that all the stuff I want to try could really damage said shoulder -- IF, I fall.

So, what do I say: "I won't fall."

I am bound and determined to find myself some skates! In my head, they have sparkly wheels - but, hey, I'll take what I can get. An authentic pair of Skate World rental skates would be FANTASTIC! But, I doubt those will come along. In the mean time, my sister found a white pair with blue wheels at an estate sale down the street. A size 8. Half a size to big for me and half a size to small for her. We'll see who they fit the best.....

I have fun memories of roller skating as a kid. For those of you who grew up around here, you might remember Beaverton Skate...currently the New Seasons next to what we used to call Beaverton Mall. Now its Cedar Hills Crossing..I think. Aging myself here....although I CAN say I wasn't born when the mall was an airport. So there! I actually remember learning to skate there...and have better memories of learning to roller skate that I do of learning to ride my bike.

Or how about Skate World in Hillsboro!! It's still there and I really wonder how much action they see. There was nothing like the rust and blue motif they had going on. I was there SOOO MUCH. I still wish I had really learned to skate backwards. And, gotten skilled enough to do the "speed skate". Ok, maybe not. I remember the ambulance being summoned more that once during "speed skate".

So, anyway. I'll try not to bust anything. Pads may be helpful, eh?

Portland Sunday Parkways is Coming Again!

2009-05-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

Picture from the Sunday Parkways website.

I am SO excited! I came home today to a door flyer that confirmed it. I was hoping they would do it and they ARE! They being the City of Portland, Kaiser Permanente, METRO, OR Bike, Drive Less. Save More., and the Portland Bureau of Transportation.

PORTLAND SUNDAY PARKWAYS IS COMING BACK! (click there and go to the website) This is the day when miles of Portland roadways are closed to motorized traffic and are packed with humans on bikes! This event is happening all around the world and finally came to PDX last summer.

Rex and I biked the event last year and it was a blast. Not only were the streets filled with bikes, the parks on the route were teaming with booths, food, music, people, and pets. So much was going on! Everyone had a huge smile on their face and life was good. As we biked our way around we came upon friend after friend and neighbor after neighbor - all pleased with how the event was planned and turning out. The Portland Police did a fabulous job at keeping the roads and crossings safe! - Good job guys!

SO - to make life even BETTER this year - IT'S HAPPENING THREE TIMES IN PORTLAND this summer, in THREE areas of town: North Portland on June 24th, 9am-4pm; Northeast Portland on July 19th, 9am-4pm; and Southeast Portland on August16th, 9am-4pm. Click on your neighborhood to see the route.

Put it on your calender. Pump up the tires, grease the chain, dust off the bell and get ready for the road! YIPPY!

Craving Guacamole Salad

2009-04-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

Images from foodnetwork.com

I love to cook and I love the cooking channel. I have to admit - this is still a main reason we haven't cancelled our cable. We discuss it. We hash it out. We plan it. And every time I say, "But I won't get to watch the cooking channel."

When I say this, what I really mean is: "I won't be able to watch Ina Garten on The Barefoot Contessa." She may not be flashy and a hipster, but her recipes are fantastic and they always turn out well. ALWAYS! Besides all of that, she has a really nice speaking voice, it's easy to listen to, and she doesn't treat the audience like they are morons who have never heard of water. Oh - and I LOVE her house. :-) Read her bio here, if you want to learn how she went from working in the White House on nuclear energy policy to food.

I recently caught an episode (new or re-run? I 'm not sure) and she made Guacamole Salad. YUM! I then made it for my Moms birthday and it was a hit. The recipe makes 6 servings, but we were feeding a lot of people, so I doubled the recipe and it still turned out awesome. Here it is (the undoubled recipe):

1 pint grape tomatoes - halved

1 yellow bell pepper, seeded & 1/2 inch diced

1 (15 oz) can black beans, rinsed and drained

1/2 cup red onion - small diced

2 tbsp jalapeno - seeded & minced (2 peppers)

1/2 tsp lime zest - freshly grated ( I used more - but I like lime)

1/2 cup lime juice - freshly squeezed ( 2 limes)

1/4 cup good olive oil

1 tsp kosher salt

1/2 tsp black pepper - freshly ground

1/2 tsp garlic - minced

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper - ground

2 ripe Hass Avocados - seeded, peeled, & 1/2 inch diced. ( I suggest prepping these just when your ready to add them, so they don't turn brown.)

Place tomatoes, yellow pepper, black beans, red onion, jalapeno pepper & lime zest in a large bowl.

Whisk together the lime juice, olive oil, salt, black pepper, garlic & cayenne pepper. P

Pour over the vegetables and toss well.

Just before your ready to serve the salad, fold the avocados into the salad, check the seasoning and serve at room temperature.

46 Days Until Interstate Farmer's Market Opens

2009-04-04T15:29:00.000-07:00

I am trying to wait patiently for the Interstate Farmer's Market to open. The weather this weekend isn't helping. The sun has finally come out, there are flowers blooming in my yard and it feel like time for the market to open. I NEED berries. I can already taste the tomatillo salsa from Hot Mama Salsa...YUM. I can't wait to see my friends from Unger Farms and taste the blueberries. Oh, ya, don't forget the guy who makes the crazy yummy brownies - from traditional chocolate to crazy savory and sweet flavors. Ok, I could go on for a while...

The IFM is just a short MAX (Yellow Line) ride from my house...or a bike ride depending on how much you plan to haul back home. You will find it right across the street from the Kaiser complex, in Overlook Park.

I LOVE the farmer's market. It smells good. It looks good. It tastes good. It helps the little guy.

My Dental Floss is Irish

2009-03-24T22:09:00.000-07:00

Newbridge, County Kildare, Ireland - Home of my dental floss.

The other day I was flossing my teeth. A bit personal, yes, but I have a point. As I placed the floss back in my medicine cabinet, the bottom of the container caught my eye: Made in Ireland. Really? Who knew? I was intrigued to say the least.

Now, most people might not care, but I do. I often wonder where things are made and more importantly WHO makes all of these items we use. WHO in Ireland is making my dental floss? Who makes the umbrellas that go in fruity drinks? Who makes the staples in the stapler? Or paperclips? Or the soap we use? EVERYTHING we use is made by someone. And, I hope this someone gets treated with respect and makes a living wage....that's a whole other post.

There are people who get up in the morning, shower, dress, eat, kiss their loved ones and head out to the dental floss factory. They call out a "see you tonight" and drive off to make rubber bands all day. The carpool picks them up and heads to the factory to assemble shoe laces until the 5 o'clock whistle. These things fascinate me. Every time I use a simple product I think: SOMEONE has made this. SOMEONE makes their living from making this.

So, I did a little research and came upon an entry titled: Dental Floss: Trends and Prospects in International Trade Is Essential Reading for Relevant Strategic Planners, Senior Company Officials and Importers/Exporters. The report examines international trade and worldwide market trends for dental floss. Dental Floss is apparently serious business.

But WHO is making the floss? Oral-B Laboratories Ireland, Ltd. THAT'S who. Located in Newbridge, County Kildare to be specific. A town 40 km from Dublin that dates back to the 12th century. They have a strong industrial background in making rope and carpet. So there you go. THAT'S a bit about who is making my dental floss.

My Recent Obsession

2009-03-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

Photo from the Museum of Glass

So, I am pondering my recent re-obsession with glass. It been an interest for a very long time, but in the past month it's been in in the forefront of my mind. Why? I'm not sure.

The craft absolutely amazes me! The objects these artists can make from what starts out as little pieces and powders that get melted together under extreme heat are wonderful. Maybe it's the extreme heat part of it...a little dangerous. Maybe it's the speed required. Don't work too fast but fast enough that what your making doesn't break. Well whatever it is - I like it.

I would love to take a class, but have yet to save my pennies. Why does everything I'm interested in cost money? LOL Hhhh.... so there you go: not much insight into my recent postings. That's ok. Why analyze...why not just enjoy.

Leah Pellegrini - Glass Mobiles (A Local Gal)

2009-03-19T01:09:00.000-07:00

Floating joy... This amazing floating piece of wonder is a mobile by local glass artist Leah Pellegrini.

If you frequent Saturday Market perhaps you have seen her booth there. If not, I suggest hunting her down the next time you are there taking an eyeful of her brightly colored glass mobiles.

I want one. Thanks all there is to it.

Visit http://www.leahglass.com/ to see more of her work, including glass Yoga people, flower plates and much more. Also, click on her links and visit her Etsy store.

Dale Chihuly - Navajo Blanket Cylinders

2009-03-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Photo: Leigh Yawkey Woodson Art Museum

photo: Elliot Brown Gallery

Photo: Elliot Brown Gallery

These beautiful cylinders are all made by Dale Chihuly. He had a large collection of Navajo Blankets and in the 1970's produced numerous cylinders inspired by his blanket collection. I had the chance to see them a few years ago at the Oregon Historical Society Museum in downtown Portland. Both the blankets and the cylinders were shown. I remember watching a video of how they are made too - very interesting.

I have been purposefully avoiding any blog entries about Chihuly (sorry Dale!). Its not that I don't like his work - I love it. His installations (a possible future posting) are incredible. But, here in the Pacific Northwest - especially - he tends to be the first person people conjure when glass artists are mentioned. I wanted to focus on others that maybe haven't had as much exposure.

Today, I broke down and had to do it. I had to post these works of art because I love them. The colors, the weaving, the strong base of the cylinder and the intricacy of the fine pieces of glass that have been added to represent the fabric.

If you ever have to the chance to check these out - I encourage you to do so.

The Importance of Earnest Being Over

2009-03-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

Oh my dear friend Oscar Wilde... My wonderful friend Krista and I interpreted The Importance of Being Earnest last night...for the second time. Last season we interpreted it at Portland Community College and were delighted to be able to interpret it at Portland Center Stage this season. How many times do you get to do the same show twice? Krista and I jumped at the chance!

We started this show thinking, hey - we've done this before, how hard can it be? (insert laughter here) We have the upper hand. YA WHOA THERE! A couple of days ago, I told her it was as if I had never interpreted this show before. Well DUH! Analyzing a script for the second time just gives the play more meaning and depth and breadth. I came to the realization that I LOVE this show....despite the fact that its so no interpretable; what with all the puns, play on words, etc. It's funny, and witty, and pokes fun at Victorian society. And PCS performed it fabulously.

Krista and I kicked some Earnest butt last night. :-) And after SWEARING several times in the past two weeks that I will NEVER do this show again and what was I thinking to say I would do it a second time...as we were walking off stage I said to Krista: " I think I would do this again."

Virtual Glass Blowing!

2009-03-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

Want to try your hand at virtual glass blowing? This is probably more fun for the kids, but I find myself playing around once in a while.

Click here: http://museumofglass.org/education/virtual-hot-shop/sbf/ to virtually make a macchia - a vessel like the one in the seen here made by Dale Chihuly - and learn a lot about glass blowing in the process.

The kids/you will have fun picking the colors they/you want to use for their macchia, clicking the heat button so their piece won't break, and applying the tools to the vessel. When finished, they/you can print out a badge with your name and a picture of your macchia. Check it out, have some fun, and see what you can make.

Dante Marioni

2009-03-11T08:37:00.001-07:00

Dante Marioni is my glass blower crush :-) He is an American glass artist who lives in Seattle. He started working in glass at the age of 15. Dante is a well known and respected artist who has shown his work all over the world and is known for his mastery in Venetian glassblowing techniques. I have seen his vessels described as "traditional becomes modern" and thats pretty much the truth. Bold colors, curvy features, tall elegance....I likey!

Cobi Cockburn

2009-03-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Winter Grass

The artist

Shifting Fields

Bound

Autumn Light

Pictures from the Sabbia Gallery

I saw a showing of Cobi Cockburns work at the Bullseye Gallery in Portland. I was walking by and these, what I thought of as delicate canoes, where glowing through the window. The gallery was not brightly lit and the pieces were lit from below. I later found out the artist had based the form of these pieces on basketry and the texture and color from natural grasses.

What she says about her work: "In producing this body of work, it was important to me to combine this fascination with my personal experience as a young mother and artist and produce tactile glass objects that echoed life and celebrated growth within this rich landscape."

Cobi Cockburn is a young Australian glass artist. She has won the 2006 Ranamok Glass Prize and the 2007 Talente Prize for Glass. If you would like to read more about this collection or see more images, head to http://www.sabbiagallery.com/

Little Tiny Pieces of Glass

2009-03-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

Anna Skibska is a Polish artist who makes amazing large sculptures from little tiny pieces of glass. The last picture is from her show at the Museum of Glass in Tacoma. I remember standing in front of her sculptures, very tempted to touch, and thinking, "I can't believe someone hasn't broken one of these." My other thought was, "How in the world do they ship these to the museum without them breaking." Really - I'm still pondering this one.

They look like glass clouds to me.

On Vetri's website, a gallery in Seattle, I found this about her work: Marge Levy wrote of Anna Skibska, "In her hands, glass becomes line and form, strong and fragile, enormous and delicate. In her mind, the dualities of life are dignified and celebrated in sculptural forms - most of which are life size, confrontational, and connected to the human spirit through their scale and physical presence."

If you want to see more of her work , past and present...and the past work is nothing like the present, visit www.annaskibska.com

Karen LaMonte: Glass Dresses

2009-03-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

Karen LaMonte is amazing! This is one exhibit at MOG that I didn't get to see and I am still kicking myself!! I have no idea how she gives a hard, unforgiving substance like glass such a soft, flowing feel. I love it! To learn more about the artist and her work, visit her website: http://www.karenlamonte.com/

Stanislav Libenske & Jaroslava Brychtova

2009-03-06T10:48:00.000-08:00

I'm not a huge modern art lover. It's a 50/50 thing with me. But, I have to say the modern glass artwork of Stanislaw Libenske and Jaroslava Brychtova is amazing. Seeing it in person at MOG was what made me love it. The light just glows from inside the glass. I like the picture with the people, because you can get an idea of the scale of their work and what it looks like in a gallery.

Pilchuck Glass School

2009-03-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

Pilchuck Glass School is in Stanwood, Washington. Its location in the forest is BEAUTIFUL! It was founded in 1971 by Dale Chihuly, Ann Gould Hauberg, and John H. Hauberg. It is the "largest, most comprehensive educational center for artists working in glass" in the world.

I visited the school a few years ago and, again, could have been there ALL DAY. The school is open to the public once a year and I have to say hoards of people come to check it out. But it's not so crazy with crowds that you won't enjoy yourself. The buildings are rustic looking and set in this beautiful landscape. The hot shop is my favorite..or maybe the casting shop...or the hot shop.... The hot shop is the round building you see in the picture - all sides open to the air. During the open house day - you can sit and watch artists blow glass - and its amazing.

This year the open house is Sunday, July 12, noon - 5pm. Admission is $20 per person with kids under 12 free. If you want to attend, definitely visit their website and fill out your registration form. Organized group tours are also offered on Tuesdays, March - May, for a $30 fee - details on their website. Visit www.pilchuck.com for more info, more pictures, etc.

Visit the Hot Shop

2009-03-04T08:24:00.000-08:00

The Museum of Glass in Tacoma, Washington is one of my favorite places to visit. I became a big fan of glass blowing quite a few years ago, and was very excited when the museum opened.

I have seen some wonderful exhibits at MOG. Big solid slabs of glass that force the light to works its way through its mass only to cause a glow from within. Big massive sculptures made from thousands of tiny fragile pieces of glass that look as if they would break if I breathe to hard on them. I am now waiting with baited breath for the 2010 exhibit: Preston Singletary: Echoes, Fire, and Shadows. Glass work with a serious Native American bent. Beautiful.

My favorite part about visiting MOG is sitting in the hot shop and watching the team of glass blowers create whatever comes to mind. The teamwork is amazing. I always want to ask them if they have lost all fear of being burned. I could seriously watch all day...and I mean ALL DAY.

So, if your driving north or just want to take a day trip - consider MOG. You can hit MOG, Tacoma Art Museum, and Washington State History Museum all in the same area of town - Tacoma's Museum District. www.museumofglass.com

Beach Music

2009-03-03T07:04:00.001-08:00

The beach is my favorite place. Waves crashing, seagulls squawking, the briny smell; its a feast for the senses. I'm due for a trip to the coast.

This picture is of the Twin Rocks. I have grown up with these beauties just down the path from my Grandparents house. All these years and they still impress me. I always wanted to walk out to them and touch their surface, or take a boat and sail through the eye of the rock. On the two days a month of spring tides, when the water is especially low, I find myself chanting, "a little more....a little more", hoping the water will go out far enough to walk to the rocks. I know it will never happen, but a girls gotta try, right?

On the solstice the sun sets in the exact center of the eye. Hoards of people venture onto the beach with camera in hand and wait for the perfect moment to take the perfect picture.

Depending on the angle, these rocks change shape. A northward view takes away their bulk, but offers you the only chance to see the backside. A westward take on the rocks reduces the size of the hole. Ever changing...like the sands.

The beach is always changing. Every time I visit, something has moved, disappeared, or found its way to the dunes....finding it's place for the moment, resting until the waves or the winds move it along.

I'm not much for change - perhaps I should take a lesson.

Why Why WHY do I do this?

2009-02-23T17:35:00.001-08:00

I am SUCH a procrastinator? Why? Can anyone answer this for me? ARG!!!

Good Bye Aunt Dorothy

2009-02-16T14:42:00.001-08:00

Strong women make up many of the thick, stabilizing roots and branches of my family tree. Women who have come from Mid-Western farming communities and Northwestern logging communities. Places where they faced challenges, birth, death, love, loss, and managed to continue on...no matter what.

Their strength has been the tap root that grounds me. Their heart the heartwood that has carried the sun and the energy to the branches and twigs and leaves of the tree, imparting their soul into our souls...into my soul.

Our generations can be counted like the rings of a trunk, from sapling to bark.

I have learned from these women, my Grandmothers, my Great Aunts, my Mom.

We lost my Grandmother a few years ago. We lost my Aunt Dorothy today. The past year was not kind to her and I feel relief that she is healthy and whole now, in peace. At the hospital last night we joked that she gets to go to one fantastic family reunion. My sister laughing and saying she was just a little jealous.

My Aunt Dorothy was a tiny lady full of energy and fight. Her eyes twinkled, she laughed, she never hesitated to say " I love you". Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Bud have always been two of my favorite people. I remember in grade school when the bus would stop at the end of my street. Looking toward my house, my sister and I would see their red car in the the drive and fly off the bus, running all the way home fighting to get there first. I remember in Middle and High school, when we were just a little too punkish for my Dad and Mom (ok, a lot too punkish) and my Aunt Dorothy whispered to me: "You just don't worry about what your wearing. You look cute. Back in my day, I always wore the crazy clothes. Just enjoy yourself."

I moved to North Portland 7 years ago and just a mile or so from them. I remember going over there and giving her a hug and wondering when she had shrunk. :-) She would laugh and say she needed to go shopping, that she couldn't find anything to wear. The juniors department was too big for her. Too cute.

A few years ago, Aunt Dorothy gave me all of her cookbooks. She didn't need them anymore. I was thrilled!! I only wish I could have learned how to make Lefse from her before she died.

Good bye Aunt Dorothy! I love you to pieces. Thanks for making me laugh as a child, making me feel comfortable with myself as a teenager, and for letting me know you as an adult.

Special love to my Mom who has spend the past year and a half taking care of her Aunt and Uncle. They never had any children and my Mom is the closest they got. Mom has spent her time, love and energy making sure they are comfortable and safe. She was with Aunt Dorothy until the end. Mom - I have learned so much from you about sacrifice, giving, and loving.

My Dad

2009-01-23T07:40:00.000-08:00

Larry is my Dad. He is a hoot and and half! Born and raised in Hillsboro, he is part country and part 50's greaser - picture the smokes rolled up in the white t-shirt. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. We chatted on the phone the other day and he was so excited to talk to one of his kids. Dad gets in these funks where he says "you guys only call to talk to your mother". We do talk to Mom more often - but that's a whole other story. Dad would say he looks a bit scruffy in this picture, but we were in Hawaii when it was taken. You don't have to shave on vacation.

Things about my dad:

* He is the king of one sentence wisdom/advice. The most famous and useful he gave me in a huge situation: "Don't turn on a faucet that you can't turn off". It was profound I tell you, made total sense and helped me make my decision!

* He plays Texas Hold 'em Poker every Friday at Spirit Mountain. When he wins he always tells me, " You shoulda backed me!" Every time we talk, he gives me a run down of his latest poker game...in poker speak...and I don't understand a word he is saying. But, I tell him good job and listen.

* Dad bought me my first fishing rod and reel - on my 30th birthday. It was the best present ever! We haven't gone fishing in awhile, but I did kick his butt one day 2 to 0. hee hee... He names all his rods and they can't be people names. We still argue that my rod can't be named Steve, and when I tried to name it Sven instead, he still said, "NO. It has to be something like Thunder, or Zeus, or Rage".

* We owned race horses when I was young. I have several pictures of us in the winners circle at Portland Meadows - Dad looks like Elvis - the sun glasses - the mutton chops, yep he was channeling The King.

* We used to go Lewis and Clarken'. That's Dad/Tina speak for checking out nature. My Dad loves to take a drive and knows all the cool places to stop and check the river for fish, or check for deer/elk. Driving to the beach could take hours if you want it. I think we are due for a trip. And by the way, he can spot deer and elk like nobodies business. Many conversations have gone: Dad -"WOW - look at the elk." Tina - "Where?" Dad - "There." Tina - "Where?" Dad - "Right there." Tina - "Where?" Dad - "THERE!" Tina - "WHERE!" You get the picture.

* My Dad was suppose to give a speech at the rehearsal dinner before Rex and I got married. But, every time he started he got choked up. He never gave the speech, just clinked glasses and sat down. I still have no idea what he was going to say, but I don't need the words, I could see it all on his face.

* On our last family vacation (w/o my brother) we visited places that have guest books. (cheese factory, etc.) Dad signed us in as Lewis Baughman (Dad), Clark Baughman (Traci my sister), Sacajawea (Mom), and The Dog (me). Don't ask.

* Dad is very sweet. Has a great sense of humor. But - is fair, expects fairness, and don't you dare EVER lie to him.

* Dad became a Grandpa in the past year and a half. Kaylie Eileen is his world now...none of us exist - and that is completely OK with us. :-)

So there is a little tribute to my Pops. I love you Daddy-O!

Just a Thought on this Historic Day...

2009-01-20T07:16:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY

For today, I hope that the we can be still,
Rest, and in the peace, find our space
A space where we become as one with our creator

For today, I hope that we can stop and consider
Consider those that are sharing the same world
The same world that we are all part of

For today, I hope that we can tune into peace
Not the absence of noise, but deep, pure, innocent, bliss

For today, I hope we will change things for the better
And see a new way and start to live that way
For today, may become our dream, tomorrow

duncan wyllie

Time Lapse of Plane Recovery

2009-01-19T08:27:00.000-08:00

I am amazed by the story of the plane that landed in the Hudson. I know its been all over the news, but as one who loves to fly - I also get a bit nervous at the take off and landing (this being after I learned the whole - we are only flying because we are moving to fast to fall - concept AND they idea that a bird can take out a plane a million times it's size.). Now authorities are focused on the recovery and in-flight recorders...thus, getting the plane off the bottom of the river.

I found this time lapse video of them lifting the plane. The thing that amazed me was the scale of the machinery involved. Look at how small some of the tugs look compared to the MASSIVE cranes lifting the plane. Even the scale of the plane compared to the size of the cranes. That crane is HUGE!

Anyway - thank goodness all of the people survived and in this day and age when everyone is a hero for everything, I think I can genuinely say that the pilot really is a hero. That was some nice flying/landing.

In Spite of Ourselves

2009-01-18T12:34:00.001-08:00

Well, I just had to add this other John Prine song. After this I will take a break from my most recent obsession - I promise! Of course the song starts with a story - would it be any other way? Iris DeMent is featured with John on this song - she has such a quirky voice..... My first introduction to Iris was her song "Our Town" which was the song played at the end of the last Northern Exposure episode - I LOVE THAT SHOW and still miss it. (Along with Picket Fences and Thirty Something...but, I digress.....)

Once again, funny funky lyrics and yet a simple sweetness. John looks much older than his picture I posted earlier - um...because he is. :-) Happy listening!

Happy Enchilada

2009-01-16T10:37:00.000-08:00

Here is the video clip of John Prine singing That's the Way the World Goes 'Round. The clip is named Happy Enchilada - listen and you'll know why. (THX SL for explaining how to post a video!) This was the first video my dad ever watched on YouTube - not really important to anyone else, but that makes me smile.

John Prine is a simple guy from Illinois with parents from Kentucky (spent a lot of time there), worked for the Post Office until he fell into the music world. I like this clip because he is just sitting in his kitchen, hanging with friends and picking his guitar. Very much like his concerts - sans kitchen. :-) It must be from the 70's???

I'll post his stuff every now and then - he has some great funny songs! Johns voice in his newer clips has changed a bit - a cancerous tumor was removed from his neck a few years ago and that affected his voice some. He still records and performs.

Enjoy

That's the Way that the World Goes 'Round - John Prine

2009-01-13T23:52:00.001-08:00

Caught a clip of this song on YouTube. When I figure out how to post a video, I'll post the clip. John Prine is a great American song writer. Interesting lyrics, wonderful guitar, and a fabulous gravely voice. His music feels like home for me...my Dad listened to him all the time when we grew up. I have gone to see him in concert with my Dad twice and its magical. Between verses he'll break in with great funny stories. This week has been hard, lots going on, big decisions and plans. JP helps me calm down. I like this song because it reminds me that life is happening and probably the way it's suppose to...why fight it, just do what you can. (Obviously we all make choices etc, but sometimes when you don't know which part to fight...you just have to float on your inner tube and see where the current takes you.)

I know a guy that's got a lot to lose.
He's a pretty nice fellow but he's kind of confused.

He's got muscles in his head that ain't never been used.

Thinks he owns half of this town.

Starts drinking heavy, gets a big red nose.

Beats his old lady with a rubber hose,then he takes her out to dinner and buys her new clothes.

That's the way that the world goes 'round.

You're up one day and the next you're down.

It's half an inch of water and you think you're gonna drown.

That's the way that the world goes 'round.

I was sitting in the bathtub counting my toes,when the radiator broke, water all froze.

I got stuck in the ice without my clothes,naked as the eyes of a clown.

I was crying ice cubes hoping I'd croak,when the sun come through the window, the ice all broke.

I stood up and laughed thought it was a joke.

That's the way that the world goes 'round.

The Bright Side of Life....

2009-01-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

What is it your suppose to do when live throws you lemons...make lemonade? I don't like lemonade and actually would like to hurl the lemons back at life and hit life straight square in the noggin. Alas - perhaps I am misdirecting my frustration/anger/angst/fear/pissed
-off-ed-ness (I made that one up).
I am choosing to take the Monty Python route and look on the bright side of life. No matter what - things could always be worse. Lately we have been chewing on life's gristle, and the future is uncertain. But - it could be worse. We could be in the 8% of unemployed Oregonians. We could be in the huge group of people who are being foreclosed on. We could be among those I know suffering from serious illness with health insurance that refuses to cover the illness. We could be ducking and running from bombs and missiles aimed at our neighborhood.
I have a job, house, health care, and a safe place to live. I can take in the beauty of the sunrise and sunset. I find joy in the small things - my dog wagging his tail, hearing my neighbors baby crying......
Ok, after all that - the pity party is over. The road is uphill, but I know we can make it. I'm going to "give a whistle".

Ceol / Music

2008-12-30T23:24:00.000-08:00

I found Kathleen MacInnes while surfing around YouTube. Music with a Gaelic bent is a favorite of mine...and Kathleen is wonderful! She and many other amazing singers and musicians can be found on YouTube if you search for the BBC Highland Sessions. Take a listen. The first link is Kathleen MacInnes singing "Jimmy Mo Mhile Stor"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja3MHSLRERs&feature=related

The second link is Muireann Nic Amhlaoibh singing "Slan le Maigh" (catch the pronunciation of her name in the beginning - Gaelic must be HARD!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq8CKVif_Fk&feature=related

2008-12-26T07:12:00.000-08:00

Wintery goodness. OK, this does not show how much snow we actually had. I was lazy with my picture taking and didn't get out and get those great icy shots that I normally would. The last snow storm we had...ok, it was ice...I went out to take pics, slipped, and went face first on my camera and broke it. ANYWAY - here is our house with some snow.

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane.....

2008-11-28T00:10:00.000-08:00

We are off on a 10 day VACATION!!! In just 3 1/2 hours a taxi will show up and take Rex and I to the airport where we will board a jet plane to Mexico. Doesn't seem I am going to get any sleep before we leave....still packing....

The first picture is of our first destination - the Krystal in Puerto Vallarta. There we will spend a week with the family hanging out, going to the zip line and generally having fun.

The next two pictures are of Casa Obelisco (www.casaobelisco.com) in San Francisco, San Pancho 45 minutes north of the city. This is our second destination and it will only be Rex and I for 3 days. Casa Obelisco is a bed and breakfast and I can't wait to get there to check it out! Its a small town and at that point we will have a rental car so we can cruise around at our leisure.

Adios, my friends! I'll post some pictures when we get back.

Are You Curious? Like Comedy?

2008-11-11T15:57:00.000-08:00

Yes? And....yes? I have the perfect place for you! Curious Comedy in Portland, Oregon. Some of you know that Rex and I are involved with Comedy Sportz in Portland. We have been through the 101 class and often spend our Wednesday nights with other crazies who take the risk doing improve comedy. If you didn't know - now ya do. We have a blast and have met great people there.

(Hey - you interpreters out there - this is an AMAZING way to get used to being on stage and hearing your own voice and - most importantly - having fun making mistakes - we celebrate them!!! Not something we get to day in our day job. AND - it helps with anxiety - face your fears baby...ask me more about that if you want.)

A couple of the people we met, and their friends, have ventured out and established Curious Comedy Productions. They are a non-profit, 501(c)(3) corporation and the first non-profit theater in Portland to be devoted entirely to the art of comedy. They not only have a theater space with Sketch Comedy shows, and Improv Comedy shows, but also offer Improvised Musicals, Short Play Frenzies, Stand Up Comedy and Kids Shows!! Classes in all forms of comedy are also offered for kids, teens, and adults.

Rex and I attended a long form improv show last week and had a great time. I do realize that for people who are not familiar with improv - it may a be a bit of an adjustment at first. NO script, No plan, just a start, something in the middle, and an end. Fluidity my friend....what will be will be. Sketch comedy includes a script - so check out that too!

Curious Comedy is located in Vanport Square at 5225 NE MLK Blvd, PDX. Their website is chock full of information about all the shows they are offering right now, the classes, etc, etc. PLEASE check them out! www.curiouscomedy.org

Your Animals Would Love Claire

2008-11-06T15:13:00.000-08:00

This is my wonderful friend Claire. She is a true animal lover. And your animals would love to meet her! Claire is so very kind and has a huge heart for people and animals. Especially animals.

Claire is the owner of Equine-Touch. Her company provides sports massage programs for horses and Reiki for all animals. My dog Romeo loves Reiki! My other friend SL is a Reiki provided and he come running when she visits!

Check our Claire's website to find out more information regarding horse massage and Reiki for your animals. www.equine-touch.com

Can You Feel It?

2008-11-04T22:48:00.001-08:00

Can you feel it? The energy? The rejuvenation? The hope? Something is in the air - and it's EXCITEMENT!

Today we elected a man that truly inspires the people. Today we made a decision to turn this country around. Today we saw what power we have when we cast our ballot and vote. That thought makes me EXCITED!

I haven't felt excited about politics, in the positive meaning of the word, for years. Tonight I feel like I can roll up my sleeves along side my fellow Americans, and get something done to change our country.

Tonight I feel like I finally have a leader that can cause change for the better. A leader who will help the world see who the United States of America really is: motivated, kind, hard working people who are concerned about our neighbors and want peace and justice. I am excited for them to get to know us.

The Dreaded Pumpkin Costume

2008-11-04T05:56:00.000-08:00

Romeo HATES his Halloween costume. Putting in on him takes about 10 minutes...that includes the time required to hunt him down after he sees it and runs to the basement. It lasts about 30 seconds - long enough for a torturous picture or two. He is soooo CUTE, though. He is happy we didn't make him do it this year. Right Ro?

Rello Reveryrody!

2008-11-03T09:55:00.000-08:00

Romeo wanted to say "HI" to everyone. He and Rex and been buddies for 12 years now and he is a sweetie pie. Lately, Romeo has been a cuddly dog...and that's just not his style. He is typically a "hug and dash' kinda dog.

He spent Halloween barking at the door and then wagging his stub-like tail at the kids. Oh, and trying to escape out the door and have adventures down the street. All in all - an eventful night for him. We did decide to not torture him with his pumpkin costume this year. It only lasts 30 seconds anyway - but is darn cute. I'll see if I can find a picture of him in it to post. Ssshhhhh - don't tell Ro.

This picture was taken in September at the beach. Romeo LOVES the beach. He thinks he can catch the seagulls. We just let him keep thinking that and encourage him to run and get them. It will never happen, but why burst his bubble?

Anyway - this old man is a trooper and a great friend. We love our Ro-Dog.

This is PENCIL???!!!

2008-10-28T11:34:00.001-07:00

I will say up front: Lori Garner is my dear friend in Texas. With that said, she is the most fantastic artist using pencil as her medium! I am amazed at the colors, but most astounding is the quality of the realism.

They say that words are worth a thousand words. And, actions speak louder than words. BUT - in the end, pictures tell the story.

I haven't asked permission to post a picture of her art, so you will have to get the full blown effect at her website.

Check our Lori's beautiful artwork at her website: www.lorigarnerart.com

Come on People! Don't Just Vote - Vote SMART!

2008-10-21T15:14:00.001-07:00

Can you believe it?! The election is almost here! I can feel the energy as we enter the final turn and make the run for home plate. I have always been interested in the election. Exercising my right to vote has always been an important task. Let me tell you - the year the Multnomah County Elections Office screwed up my mail in ballot and I didn't get to vote - I thought I was going to freak! I felt horrible and it wasn't even my fault. How could I not vote given that so many people around the world aren't given the opportunity and are fighting to check a box. (Did anyone catch the NPR - perhaps World Have Your Say - discussion about voting and if we should feel the same about voting in every country. Just because we value it here, doesn't mean that we should expect people to feel the same about the right to vote/not vote in their own country....hmm, that will make you think.)

No matter how you are voting - hey that's a personal thing - I say VOTE SMART! Get as much information as you can to make the informed decision that is right for you.

I recently had a family member tell me that my candidate of choice doesn't vote in the Senate. They don't show up and they rarely vote. Now, I immediately balked at that idea... it just didn't seem like a sane accusation. So, whats a girl to do but to research my candidates voting record.

After some googling (can we use this as a verb now?) I ended up at www.votesmart.org. This site is wonderful. You can search all sorts of information regarding the election - including the entire voting record for both candidates. And guess what? I took the time to count: for the time period of 2005-2008, BOTH candidates had an almost even record for NO votes. AHA! My relatives accusation is blown out of the water!

Check it out. Learn something. Vote. Vote Smart.

Pep in My Step

2008-10-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like you lost your funkiness? Lost that uniqueness or felt like you just weren't totally you? I've been on that boat for quite some time now...years actually...and I needed to get it back. My tastes tend to the funky, although it hasn't shown for a very long time. I wear blah clothes for work, and sensible shoes. I have liked my hair but always wished it had an edge to it. Something that made me feel fun inside.

Well, my boat pulled into dock yesterday and I jumped off that Titanic. Yesterday I visited Riley..that's RILEY OF HAIR BY RILEY. SHORT, CHOPPY, A LINE, CHOPPY, SUPER CHOPPY were the words that came flooding out. I wanted to feel fun and get some pep in my step!

Four hours...and lots of laughs later...I left the salon (Bella Tocca Salon & Spa, NW 21st Ave, PDX) feeling like myself for the first time in a long time. I got super choppy, short, Aline, oh..and red streaks. YIPPY!

For my friends who read this and wonder what the hell is up with me: I know your used to the boring old me. I have this thing where I love traditional and I love modern and funky. Makes picking a style quite difficult. I have been on the traditional boat for too long. It's time to jump ship and stowaway on the party barge.

Visit Bella Toccas website (still under construction, but you can get some info)
www.bella-tocca.com You can get Riley's information there.

I will be adding a pic when I get back from Rex's class reunion.

Need a Tool?

2008-10-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

Working on your house? Want to start a project, but don't have the tools you need? Well up here in Kenton, thats North Portland, we have a very cool place you can go: The North Portland Tool Library, located in the basement of the Historic Kenton Firehouse.

"The primary objective of the Tool Library is to help build community and livability in this very diverse area of the city by providing this free resource to all residents of North Portland free of charge."

Now isn't that just the coolest?!

They currently have over 500 brand new tools in stock, including garden, carpentry, plumbing and electrical power and hand tools. The complete list of tools is accessible at the NPTL website.

If you would like to use the library and live in NoPo, want to get involved, lend support, or want to learn more: visit the website.

http://www.northportlandtoollibrary.org/

Why?

2008-10-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

I don't keep New Years resolutions. I have a hard time sticking to what I give up for Lent. I'm bad at calling friends and even loose track of people I adore sometimes. I never miss work, am on top of work related email most of the time, and can make time for business meetings. I dislike this about myself. In the end, what is going to matter? Family and Friends vs work? Which will be the victor?

I went to a funeral today for my Aunt's mother. A wonderful woman filled with joy and happiness. It radiated from her. Everyone who stood up and spoke of her had the same warm memories to share; hugs, smiles, cookies, and more hugs.

I hadn't seen my cousins (it was their Grandmother who passed) in a couple of years. Maybe a year and a half. We live in the same city. They are a bit younger, so thus are on different levels socially. But, I really like them. I remember when they were born and watched them grow up. They probably don't remember this.

The cousins I have of the same age I also like. Yet, we don't see each other. We spend the holidays saying "we need to get together" "we never see each other". And then the guilt sets in. At times I remind myself that the contact is not coming from their direction either.

I want Sunday night dinners. I want a once a month open house. I want to see my family. I need to make it happen. Is it like Field of Dreams: If I do it, they will come. I guess I'll have to see.

Rainy Day Date

2008-10-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Date Day. The key to a great relationship, according to my Grandpa. He told me this when I was young and really didn't know what he was talking about. But, the advice stuck and I trust him.

Rex and I have been good at a scheduled Date Day. Lately, though, it's been going by the wayside due to busy schedules and various life happenings. So, today we took a Date Day.

Despite the rain we headed out with no set plan. Ok, one set plan: get our passports taken care of. We are leaving for Mexico in a couple of months, thus - we really needed to take care of this. That appointment put us in the vicinity of the Portland Classical Chinese Garden. I had never been, so off we went! Rain Schmain! It's Oregon right?! The garden was beautiful and well worth the soaking. Lush, green, and filled with patterns, shapes, and colors.....YUM! I can't wait to go back when I can take time to ponder the plants.

Date Day: Success!

Love Your Garbage Men

2008-10-09T07:19:00.000-07:00

Fall is here. I got up this morning and turned on the furnace for the first time. Fog is hanging in the air and the sounds of the garbage men humping trash are making its way inside. Rhythmic starting and stopping of the truck engine, pierced with the high squeal of brakes, then - CRASH as the glass bins get dumped into the recycling. Thump thump of the trash and recycling bins as they are dropped back to the ground. Our Sanitation Technicians are making their way through the neighborhood.

I am not mocking them my friends. I love our garbage men. And you should love yours. Their job is HARD! Up before the crack of dawn, these men get ready while the rest of us are snuggled in our beds. Yoga or the gym and then coffee is not the order of things for them. Its get up, get dressed in layers that are going to get wet and stay that way, get to work in the dark, get in a big rumbling truck that is going to damage their hearing with its high decibel noise, and hump our trash. That's right: OUR TRASH. The stuff we have been chucking into our plastic and metal bins during the week. Unwrap, open lid, throw in, out of mind....until trash day that is, when it enters the world of those 5:00am workers.

The life cycle of the garbage man is not foreign to me. My brother worked for a garbage company driving drop boxes. No humping trash (their term in case your wondering)for him unless absolutely needed, but he spent his day dropping off and picking up those big boxes we all load our crap into and have them haul off to the dump.

They handle our trash, recycling and yard debris. EVERYDAY. Its hard on the body. Have YOU tried lifting your own garbage/yard debris cans? Didn't think so.

So, friends, next time your are tossing refuse into your bin, take a minute to ponder your garbage man. He has a name. He has a job. He has a family he supports with this job. And he works his ass off. Love your garbage man.

Insomnia.....

2008-10-07T03:00:00.000-07:00

I have bouts of insomnia. It rears it's in various forms: a racing mind that stops, cruelly, only when I open my eyes. At times I wake every hour - on the hour. Victim of some horrible internal clock that someone else set. But - restless legs are the most common problem. Every night of the entire first year of my marriage was spent wandering the house, stretching, walking, cursing trying to get the "electricity" to stop running up and down my legs.
Reiki helps. Massage helps. Alas, these have not been within my reach lately and now I am up. At 3:03am. I have to be up for work at 6:30am. Yes, I could take Rx drugs for this, but I hate to take pills. I'm calling my massage goddess tomorrow.

Blog - Day One

2008-10-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

What? Am I Captain Kirk? It will have to do for my first blog post - I'll work on titles for the future. My "To Do" list reads like a novel. Items are constantly added and as I "do" them, are happily crossed off. Alas, there are those items that never experience the roll of the blue Bic pen. The list is their home and there they stay, waiting for the day I might FINALLY get to them.

Today was THE day. "Set up blog" graduated from the list. So, here I sit with a blog and not much to say at this point. Being that its 10pm and I have been up since 7, I suppose being thoughtless is OK.

I did go a little crazy and set up a blog for Traci (The Evil Twin), too. I have no idea if she keeps a "To Do" list or if said list does exist - if items get crossed off. One thing I can be sure of: if she keeps a list and the items get crossed off: its NOT with blue Bic pen. Traci's pen of choice: the black roller ball type. Black and only black - blame the WSU Interior Design program.

I think her "To Do" list is in her head. She has spoken of wanting a blog, but not having the time to figure it out. So, voila - it's done. Well, the set up part...she has to do the rest.

If her list is in her head, can I cross it off on her forehead? Like I did when we were kids and I gave her doll a forehead tattoo? Or would that make ME the Evil Twin?

Maybe I should have named this post: "Two Done"